Amigita Adventures!

Ciao Amici!

Come stiamo tutti?

I am back to my New York routine after indulging in the flavors and colors of the other side of the pond and it was everything I wanted and everything I didn't know I needed.

We come alive in the fall time. 

My bestie and I decided to celebrate our birthdays abroad this year.  It has been a while since we had a true girl's trip; she and I.   A little background on how are trips come about: when L and I start thinking of a trip, we start with a wish list that we've compiled and figure out if any of those destinations are feasible. We take things like vacation days, climate, flying time, terrorism (which is sad) into consideration.  We tend to start very conservatively.  We figure what city in the U.S. we'd like to hit up.  Then, as we whittle down the list, a few international cities may pop up.  While researching fares we may come upon a flash sale and then what usually happens is that we'll randomly put in a city and see that THAT city is much less expensive than the city we wanted to visit and BOOM we're now booking a trip to Milan when we thought we would be going to New Orleans.  It's just a thing.  We try to be "not extra" and end up being VERY extra. 

Between giggles and squeals we built an incredible itinerary: Milan, Venice, Switzerland and depart Milan. 

Just some snaps...

this was just the appetizer....

I can't say enough about Italy.  To date, it is my favorite country to visit.  One of the easiest as well, as you can get away with some Spanish over there.  Furthermore, my dad always says: "Flour never sours around you".  If there is a carb around, I will partake.  So you KNOW Italy is a gastronomical dream for me.  Pasta, bread, wine, butter, olive oil, cheese and ice cream, these are the things I need to survive and Italy excels in all categories.

The destination was phenomenal.  However, the real highlight of this trip was my travel companion.  L and I have been traveling together for years now and every time I travel with a group that does not include her, I remember why she and I are such friends.  She lets me be exactly who I am.  She knows who I am and accepts that.  Find yourself a companion that accepts all the parts of you.  She can take in the sights of an ancient church and turn up at a discotheque.  She is good with five star restaurant but will try a hole in the wall.  The one trait that blows them all out of the water though?  Is her level headedness in a crisis.  We have been lost without maps, missed trains, bumped from planes, fallen ill and faced racism all abroad.  We both know we can fall apart when we get home but right now we gotta solutionze!

We problem solve.  We've been up 36 hours straight trying to find a flight and we didn't turn on each other.  I think that's the most important thing in a travel companion: loyalty.  Even if it's just until you get home; stay loyal to your travel companion because you are trusting each other with your well being far from home.  I know it may sound dramatic but I've been in situations where I've been in medical crisis and my "friends" stopped talking to me because to them "I was acting different". Acting different was me being in discomfort; maybe I didn't articulate that how they deemed appropriately, but I was ostracized. 

You know yourself best.  If you know you are impatient and are ready to just take off on your own in a crisis, group/companion travel isn't for you.  

I'm not saying you can't have disagreements, those happen and you should embrace those.  Give each other space to do your own thing for a few hours if necessary but always talk.  I get hangry and L can go so much longer than me without food. So we travel with snacks; little things like that make it work.  When planning a trip, you have to understand that not only are your best qualities going to shine through but your worst ones as well when there's a hiccup in the plans.   

Venician Silliness. 

Choose who you travel with wisely.  I personally believe, if you can travel with someone and deal with all of their idiosyncrasies you are truly friends.  Get yourself an amigita/amigito that can hang and make your laugh.  Laughter will get you through everything that can go wrong on a trip.  Well, maybe not legal trouble.  Just don't get arrested and you should have adventures that won't fit on your cameras. 

Arrivederci!

xoSquared

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's that time of year!  When we gather with our families to eat, drink and be merry.  

We also gather to give side eyes, sigh heavily and hide in the bathroom.  

Now, if you live in a Christmas card and your family is perfect, I want you to enjoy that! It's truly a beautiful thing.

To the rest of us, hang in there.  We're going to make it.  The holidays can be a very stressful time for people.  I don't have to tell you that, that's not news.  There will be hundreds of articles out just in time to help you cope with the anxiety.  I'd like to tell you that it's OK NOT to be joyful when seeing that one aunt whom you dislike.  Your weird uncle doesn't need to tolerated.

If you're hosting this year, you are in control on the guest list.  

Don't invite people into your home if you don't absolutely want to see them.  

You're going to be cooking all day, hot and sweaty; stressing over the seating chart and here comes your mom with the cousin she found down the street?  Nah.  Now, if the person is already there, you have enough food AND you can stand the extra body heat; hey the more the merrier.  However, if you had a very specific plan and someone is bringing tagalongs.  No.  You can't sit with us!  Tell the family member who brought them that this is your house and your party,  YOU decide who stays.

I know people who are not inviting their parents to dinner.  I get it! If you know your parents are toxic why marinate in that on purpose?  Because the calendar told you to? Negative.  The holidays belong to you too! You should be able to enjoy yourself and not have to deal with the mental acrobats of deflecting back handed compliments or outright hateful actions.  Don't do it.

But, it's the holidays! A time to come together! Not if we don't vibe the entire rest of the year. Call me mean if you want; I've been called worse. However, best believe I'm enjoying my holiday while others are just trying to survive.  

So whatever you do, be it ramen noodles or a five course event, make sure YOU are enjoying yourself.  

P.S. Eat everything! The gym will be there this weekend 😉 

-xoSquared  

"It's not me, it's you." -- Monday

No one ever said "Ugh, what a terrible Monday!"  while they'e on vacation or spending some quality time with friends, or indulging in a hobby.  Nope, that just comes when it's time to go to work.

As the quote says, "It's not Mondays that suck, it's your job."  It's true, if you start having "Sunday Scaries" (the dread and anxiety that creeps in on Sunday because you know Monday will be here soon) it's time to look for a new gig.  Perhaps you're not being fulfilled.  You're not being challenged enough.  Maybe you're bored or it could be, you hate all your coworkers and it is mentally and physically taxing on your body and soul to interact with these nitwits and not defenestrate them!  Can you tell, I've been there?  Also, look up Defenestrate - it is my favorite word. Just...look it up :)

Anyway, if I've just scratched the surface let's think about getting a new job.  You spend a minimum of 8 hours (I know people who put in close to 12 and 16 hours, even more) at this place, you have to like it.  You're spending most of your time there so why do something you hate? Now, I know you're saying, "well, that's easier said than done! I've got to pay these bills, I've got to take what I can get".  And you're right, it's very easy to SAY.  However, don't use that as an excuse to stay stagnant.  Wherever you are now, use the off time to look for the next opportunity.  Talk to people who have jobs they enjoy and ask them WHY they enjoy them.

I usually feel this at least twice a day at my desk, and sometimes it actually happens! Well, not the table part, but I will bust a move.

The job I have now does not align with my passions, at all...BUT, I still enjoy my job.  I like going to work, I don't come home sullen and stressed.  I feel like people tend to confuse that.  If I'm not following my dream or working in exactly the field I WANT, then everything sucks anyway and I might as just stick to this job I hate. Negative, if you can't make your passion your day job then have your day job bankroll your passion. You should have enough energy and enthusiasm at the end of the workday to work on your own hustle/side gig/grind.  Figure out why you hate your current job:

Office dynamic/People

Commute

No Challenge/Boredom

No Growth Opportunity

Pay

These things aren't really attached to a specific field.  However, these details factor into job satisfaction.  Pay is good but the people suck.  The people are great but you're bored.  The pay is low but your coworkers are basically your family.  The commute is way too long.  The commute is perfect but you're staring at the next 20 years of your life doing the same exact thing.  There are many combinations to this.  What I'm trying to say is:  "What's bothering you?"  Once you figure that out, talk to people and highlight the things you NEED in a new job...because we ALL want more money that's a given, but are you willing to perhaps take a small pay cut but work with a great team?  Maybe you're willing to travel farther if you can see a promotion in a year.  One of my dear friends has nearly a 2 hour commute to and from work everyday but she does it because she loves her job.  This is what I mean!

I think this table represents everything I felt at my last job....every. day. 

It may be rough to make the transition but once you make it and start working at a place you enjoy, the world gets better.  Honestly, it changes your whole outlook on everything.  Less stress at work means less stress in other areas of your life, because you're not bringing that toxicity with you everywhere you go. It really makes a difference and the only reason you'll roll your eyes at Monday is because you know you're going to see all the memes going up while you're on your way in, looking forward to a productive week.  Hold up, that's a lie, you'll definitely roll your eyes at something else, it's NYC, there's always something :)  

Tell me what you don't like about your job below.  I can keep secrets :)

xoSquared