I am the first to say that I really enjoy my day job. I enjoy my work balance, have PHENOMENAL health insurance and like my co-workers. It's the best place I've ever worked. HOWEVER, there are days when I want to just pour scalding coffee on the keyboard and kick the computer screen. Work stress happens to us all. It's inevitable; projects and people can be frustrating and you have to take a deep breath and ask yourself, what if I lit this place of fire? Would it solve my problems? No. Would it make me feel better? Yes.
So, arson isn't an option right now. Like I said, I like the place and I also don't want to go to prison - I'm busy. So I had to come up with some ways to align my chakras and figure out what makes me crazy at work. What is irking me to the point that i have violent thoughts about others.
The first question I ask myself (in every situation) is it me? Am I the root of my misery? Did I mess something up at work? Did I misfile something or drop the ball on a project? If the answer is yes, then I have to figure out how to fix my mess and ask for help.
I remember, I was an office assistant in an asset management firm what seems like a million years ago. I was asked to transfer $50,000 from one account to another. I was shown how to do it once before and I was too scared to ask for another tutorial. So I proceeded to make the transfer. A day later, managers are up in arms because $50,000 has gone missing. My direct supervisor calls me in and asks me if I made the transfer. I said yes and of course want to die because, is she accusing me of stealing 50 Gs? Am I going to be fired? Am I going to be arrested? I'm going to be walked out of this Midtown office in cuffs, I am going to have to come up with bail. These people have lawyers on retainer! They are going to put me away for grand larceny!
I put the money in the wrong account. My supervisor found it in seconds.
She saw the color drain from my face and laughed, she said something to the effect of: "I've done that too, don't worry about it. You should see your face! What you thought you were going to be arrested, hahahahahahah" Yea....ha. ha. ha.
When my heart rate settled, she gave me some advice that I have never forgotten:
"Don't even feel ashamed to ask questions. If you are unsure on how to proceed on something you ask. If someone gives you an attitude for asking them to show you again it's a failure on their part, not yours."
So, if I messed up on a project, then maybe I need a refresher. I need to go back and figure out where my confusion is. Was I rushing? Maybe I was complacent; I've gotten comfortable and sloppy. Once I figure out what is going on with me, I admit it, own it and move on. Yes, I messed that up, but I can fix it and if I can't well now I know not to ever do it again. You have to forgive yourself and move on. I messed up. I get it. Next. You can't berate yourself about it because it's only going to make you feel worse. The idea is to get back to our happy place, even it's that's at work :)
If you're not the problem, but someone else is. You have to leave it right there. With them. If a coworker has an attitude; they are most likely having a shitty life moment. Don't take it personally, however, you don't have to engage in it. If they want to be mad... LET THEM. It has nothing to do with you. Keep your head in your books and stay in your lane. Do you honey.
I've had to learn that I can only care as much as the person above me. If I'm on my P's and Q's and my direct superior is lallygagging. Well, I'm going to stay on my P's and Q's but I'm not going to care more than you. For example, I deal with expenses. If you don't care enough to give me the correct documentation on time after several attempts; then I can't care more than you do about your own money, especially after quitting time and I'm home.
Speaking of Quitting Time. I take that very seriously. When it's time to leave, I LEAVE. I don't bring my laptop home, I don't check in after hours. Why?! Whatever couldn't get done in the 8-9 hours I gave you in the work day, wont get done at 8pm on a Wednesday. That doesn't mean I won't pull in some overtime here and there or sign up for a special project but that is by choice, that's different.
Also, it sounds silly but, go outside. Even if it's just for 10 minutes. Step away from whatever your work area is. I find myself working through lunch hours almost daily. If that's the case, I have to steal some time back for myself. Maybe it's sitting in the cafeteria for a few minutes. Walking around the block, maybe just watching a music video. Whatever it is, give your brain a break from the business.
If none of that helps, go look for another job. Seriously. Update your resume and start looking for another job. Look up jobs you'd rather be doing. Is the market weak? Do the benefits not add up? Are the hours longer? How about the new commute? If it doesn't add up, you're at the right spot for now, so just sit tight, the grass isn't always greener. BUT -- if you see that the grass is lush on the other side, maybe you've reached your growth potential at this current job and it's time to jump ship. Nothing is wrong with going somewhere else to try your hand and something else. Either way, I think a quick job search will give you more insight on what's really going on with you. If starting over makes you cringe, you're just having a bad week. If starting over, makes you feel like cleansing your life by fire then maybe it's time for a new job.
Let me know what are the things you to to get yourself out of a work rut.
xoSquared