Single and ready to mingle...

Single as a dollar bill..

Single AF.

These are just some of the terms I've used for myself in the past. I'm proud of it. I like Singlehood. It's a nice break in between spaces to reconnect with yourself and re-evaluate what you want out of the next relationship in your life, if you want another one at all.

I feel like we broke up for a little bit, people! I know I've been M.I.A for a little bit but I was taking my own advice and getting my ENTIRE life. So much has happened this summer already and I feel like there's so much more to go. I've gotten a promotion at work (YAASSS!) by simply owning the fact that I could get it. I was one the one holding myself back from it and when I decided, "F IT! Let's try", BOOM! I'm all the way up!!! Cue the horns...

There is so much in the pipeline for all my Squares, you have all been so supportive and I'm thinking of new ways to connect with you! Some of these ideas are pretty terrible but a few of them of great; so I hope to roll those out soon.

However, back to the matter at hand, as I've been solutionizing (swc word) and making moves, I've been talking to tons of people about life in general and one of the common threads has been being single . I personally enjoy it when I am. Sometimes being part of a team can stymie your growth and it's time to part ways. From that negative, the end of a relationship, try to extract the positives that can come of it.

You really get to figure out who you are, when you deal with betrayal (on either side), loss, abandonment or a conscious uncoupling. This is why I cant quite comprehend the fear some women have of being alone.

Some women have to be in a relationship to feel complete. They are happiest when they are in a "monogamous" relationship (I use quotes because some women will ignore infidelity for the sake of being in a relationship).

To them I say:

Learn to like hanging out with you. If you don't like your own company how can someone else?

Now, I'm not saying pack up and go on a vacation all by yourself. You can do that if you want. Three cheers for that Eat, Pray, Love vibe! I'm saying don't try to make someone your man just because you're "a relationship girl" or "like being committed"; those are great qualities to strive for but not at the expense of overlooking red flags and obvious character flaws. You won't change a man, he will change when he is good and ready; and he may not be ready for you. You may not be the one to illicit that change in him; you have to like yourself enough to know that.

If you're just getting out of an intense situation like a marriage or a long tern relationship, this is especially for you. Take the time to assess who you are. Love changes us. We put up with a lot, we tend to put our partner first because that's what love is right? So when you get out of that relationship, take some time to figure out what you like, what you want, what you want to try differently.

I had a slew of friends get out of serious relationships last year and they all said, "I'm never getting married again" or "That's it, I just want to deal with me and my kids and I'm not letting anyone in." They really meant it too, in that moment. However, they are all dating new people. Some are just having fun, while others are building up long lasting (hopefully) relationships. But, they each started by taking a self imposed hiatus from dating. In that time, they got to grow and figure out what it is that makes them tick. What makes them feel good about themselves and found people that shared that common interest.

If my girl hand't gotten divorced, she probably never would've went back to school for her passion. But she's there (KILLING IT, I may add) and she's meeting all these cool guys with the same interests. Life just works that way.

I love you but please leave me alone. xoxoxoxoxo

Also, even if you're in a relationship, give each other space. It's healthy! Cuddles are nice but sometimes I just want to be at home alone with a glass of bubbly, marinating in my splendor. Or hanging out with my friends without my man. He doesn't need to be everywhere to prove he's in my life. Actually, if I married someone who traveled constantly for work, I'd be OK with that. Like, go out there and change the world babe. I'll see you for three days and then off you go. We love each other, I can't get enough of you!

Now give mama some space. Love you! Byyeeeeee.

Hang out with yourself. Get to know you. Figure out what YOU like to do, not what "WE" like to do.

I bet you've forgotten.

Do you for awhile, especially if the relationship happens to end in the Summer. That's the best!

that's when all the best merchandise gets paraded around :)

Sometimes you're single and sometimes you're not. No matter what your status is, remember that you should be able to have a blast with you, yourself and you!

xoSquared