Recently, I attended a workshop and was asked to list all of my best qualities. All the things, I think I could write on; what my areas of expertise are, if you will. I wrote down a bunch of words simply riffing off the top of my head. Then we were told to turn to our partners (we were put into small groups) and read them aloud: oh $h!%!...GULP!

Ok, time to step up. I was in a group of women (who were very supportive) and we were all shy at first but when we got to talking we opened up. When it was my turn to list my best qualities and my expertise; it was awkward guys...I was saying all these great things about myself and it became very hard not feel like an arrogant asshole. Which is of course, what I told them after I listed my qualities, "I feel like such an arrogant asshole right now...giggle, giggle cough." I looked around and the other women chimed in, agreeing they felt the same way. Not about me being an asshole but about feeling as if they were being arrogant when they spoke highly of themselves.

A couple of minutes later the lecturer commented on another woman's gripe that it was hard to talk about herself in a positive light without feeling like she was being a braggart. You could hear the murmurs of agreement coming from the other women in the room. He said: Women tend to not take credit for their gifts. (hmmm?)

He gave this example from some study, somewhere (he cited it correctly, I've just forgotten): If there's a job posting and there are 7 qualifications; women will not apply if they only have 6 out of 7 but men WILL apply if they have 3 out of 7. Why is that? Have we been culturally molded to be the team players? To do what's best for the group? To only reach for things if we perfectly fit the mold because we don't want to waste anyone's time?

I know women who have many gifts, who are at the top of their game but won't own the fact that they are BOSSES in their own lanes. However, we can get on the dance floor and recite how "we woke up like this!" how we're "Divas!" yet in our own lives, we kinda skirt away from that. We blush and say, "Oh no no no, it's not a big deal. " or "It's nothing".

I, for one, am a Rockstar Sex Goddess in my full length mirror! I am too hot to trot and my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. However, get me alone and ask me what I think I'm really good at and I will sheepishly say something like "eating cookies and making funny noises", which those are true by the way but not what I should be focusing on.

I totally look like this....at home...in the mirror....by myself.

This summer, I've committed to myself to blow my own horn. Why should I wait for someone else to highlight my awesome qualities? I have to learn to be more comfortable talking about what I do really well. Not so much in a "sell myself" way but more in a "this is a fact" way.

I am a great listener

My butt got bigger (squat life!)

I can dance

I'm an honest person, to my own detriment sometimes

I'm loyal

I kill it at work.

I'll work on more of the above and I'm going to work on taking more selfies because I think I've fallen for the stigma that selfies are a little self-involved. They are; but let's flip the stigma. Yes, this is a picture of me being involved with myself. I don't appreciate the times when I'm feeling myself enough. I need to document those more. I need to involve myself more in the conversation about me. I have to get in there and speak for myself as my champion. I've been through a lot and I have a lot to be proud of. It's time to tune up the horn section.