I love the George Herbert quote "Living well is the best revenge". Or it's equally quoted counterpart "the best revenge is a life well lived" It resonates with me because I find it to be true. If an asshole broke your heart I know you obviously want to break the windows of his car. If a cold hearted trick cheated on you, you'd want to hurt her back. I get it. There's a very thin line between love and hate. All these intense emotions you have for someone don't just disappear but they transform. When you love someone and they betray you, what you feel inside is a wrath like no other. Your insides are on fire, you cry because the anger is so intense. It physically pains you to be this angry and hurt. Go ahead and feel that. I did. ALL. OF. IT.

Now because I lost my best friend to an act of Domestic Violence I can't fathom ever killing someone over a broken heart. I just can't. You don't want to be with me? It sucks but it's fine. There are plenty of other men in the world. You will not be the last man I love. Simply because you should never give your power to love to someone else, no one should be able to take that away from you. So yea, I wouldn't resort to violence, it's just not worth the collateral damage to me. However, what I did realize is seeing me happy, bothered the F@CK out of my ex. Which made being happy so much more fun :)

As I got my life together and realized that I needed to live my best life; my ex was perturbed by this. He said, "every time I see you, you're happy and it makes me think, is she putting up a front? Is she over me so quickly? Did the relationship matter at all?" These words were actually said! And my instant internal reaction was "wow, how sad for you." My happiness legitimately bothered him! That's when I knew, everything happens for a reason. This relationship wasn't supposed to survive. Those who love you want you to be so happy it makes you vomit! The best version of me simply didn't gel with him.

That's not what he wanted for me. I think he wanted me to grovel a bit, come undone over him. He wanted a little more attention, a little more fight. But nope. Be free, my friend. Enjoy your life. I believe everyone has free will; you choose to not be with me? Fine. That is your choice. I don't have to like it or agree but I'm not forcing anyone to love me. Negative.

I responded to him that night like this: "of course it mattered, it hurt. But you chose this. So I gave you what you wanted." And that was that. There's really no response to that, is there?