Sigh! I just want it all to work out and be done with it. I just want everything to fall into place so I can move on and do what I need to do to live my life.
For example, if I could just get my hands on about $150,000, I could really make some moves and get my life together as much as I need it together right now. I'm not greedy! Millions would be nice to have but I could really make something pop with $150k.
But...where's the rest of it? The rest of my blessings!?
I would also like if my hair cooperated all the time and just did what I wanted it to do. Now, that I'm off the creamy crack, my hair wants to have all this character and life and it's like no girl....c'mon just lay so we can get to work on time. I would also like if the love of my life just came through every couple of days and then traveled for business so I can have my alone time and still love him because he's not clingy and understands that when I want to do my own thing that doesn't automatically mean I love him less or am cheating on him. I'm just watching my favorite shows with air popped popcorn, living my entire life.
These are just some of the things I would like to happen right at this moment. But alas, they will not. Every morning, I give thanks for being alive. I'm thankful for having all of my faculties about me. I'm quite lucky to live the life I have, and have the freedom to live it the way I do. I try not to take it for granted. However, there are days when it's just simply not enough! I want everything I want, how I want it, when I want it, which is usually right now. One thing I've noticed about myself is I really do have a running dialogue in my head most of the day. It's usually quite entertaining but there are days when she is just whiny up there. She's spoiled and unsatisfied. I usually silence her with treats but sometimes she kicks me in the butt and gets me to work. She's the one who let's me know that I have a lot to do if I really want everything I say I want.
Trust the timing of your life
I say this to myself EVERY morning. This is my morning mantra. I believe this with every fiber of my being. It might sound crazy but I have been able to connect the dots to how I've ended up in certain situations in my life by being somewhere at the right place and time. I've had shitty things happen and out of that muck, I have received huge blessings. It's all connected. It may take years to manifest but it's all conspiring to get you to where you need to be. That's not saying that you should just coast through life because things are just going to fall into your lap. No, it means that if you put the right energy forth you will get it right back. Daddy Dover said it best:
You can't do bad and expect to get back good
Your passion will lead you on your path.
Life has a way of steering you in the direction you need to go. Keep at it. I know it can get discouraging. Especially when you see people who you KNOW aren't working as hard as you or are total frauds or are just not nice human beings, seemingly thriving and getting everything they want out of life. I KNOW! But when you come across those people, just tip your hat to them and keep hustling on your path. It may make me grind my teeth and make my eyes twitch but that's them. You've got to deal with YOU, that's it. Stop rubbernecking in someone else's lane and pay attention to yours because you might be missing the signs that get you to where you need to be.
There are days when I just want it ALL. RIGHT. NOW. But that's not the way things work. So I can sulk and pout all I want but I've got to understand that maybe it's not all meant for me RIGHT NOW. Maybe I'm not ready for that financial windfall because I'd blow it on something dumb at this time. That man who travels all the time isn't meant for me now. My hair will cooperate in time....just not. right. now. I have to take a deep breath and just relax. Two years ago, I was most likely complaining about wanting things I have now. I definitely wasn't ready for the abundance back then; but I am able to navigate it now and that makes it so much more enjoyable.
We're getting everything we want Squares. We are. We just have to trust the timing of our lives.
Can you trust that?
xoSquared