Everyone must be happy, all the time! ALL. THE. TIME. I feel like this is the message we are being bombarded with from everywhere. If you're not happy, you're the one with the problem. There's something wrong with you.

This may sound contradictory to some of my posts here about being in control of your life and choosing how you feel. I get that. But what I mean, is there are times when you have to be sad and you should allow yourself to be it.

The upcoming holidays can be hard for some people. Loved ones who have passed on are noticeably absent at this time. Work tends to get crazy, money gets tight, we've been eating our feelings and now it's cold. It can be a lot.

Personally, during this time of year, I get a little melancholy. Memories bubble up while making new memories and I can trip myself up. In the past, I've tried to "schedule my breakdowns" building emotional blocks within myself to get keep from getting too sad or I'd try to "just get through it". What inevitably ends up happening is that I sink into my emotions and cocoon myself until I feel I'm done. Is that the worst that can happen? So why try to stop it in the first place?

I have at it! Let the dams break and let all my emotions run through me. That might manifest itself in quiet time, dropping off the social grid, letting myself be sad, not checking myself to worry about others. This is my time to feel what I want to feel. As my parents like to tell me:

This too shall pass.

And it usually does. I have my moment and then I'm ready to get back into the swing of things.

I've allowed myself to just break it all down, all the pretense and the excuses. All of it falls to the wayside. Sit in your feels as long as you need to. When you feel like it's run it's course, just rejoin society and you'll be all the stronger for it.

I don't have any life hacks or tips to share about how to get through the holidays unscathed. Honestly, I'm just trying to prepare MYSELF to get through them. Im working on giving myself the agency to feel whatever it is I want to feel. I might have a great holiday season, I may not but whatever it is, it is mine. So I will own every emotion as intense, crazy or silly it wants to be, it's mine and that's that.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the holidays, the music, the fashion, the food. The time to gather and merrymake with friends and family is nice but the stresses are also very prevalenat.