Three years and counting; I didn't think I'd make it through week one but look at me surviving (thriving) and shit.
If you've been following this site for a while you know my AHA moment came about three years ago. I won't rehash it here but I thought I would never come out of the other side of it. Actually I don't think I'll ever be on the other side of it or get over it but I have now been able to adapt to this new life. I was able to put myself back together and work within the reality I have now.
Some days are tough but most are very good. I make a conscious decision every day to push forward. Of course, there are days when the joy just says "Nope, not today", and stays in bed. When that does happen, I let myself marinate in those days but for the most part, I'm doing pretty damn well.
In the past two years, I've really lived, I've been present and I can say that it's the happiest I've ever been. The crazy thing is that it all came from me. I've made everything happen. It wasn't because of a great guy (a relationship) or more money (new job); although those things HAVE helped, it was ME making decisions. I made all the decisions that have led me to where I am today.
We Cute!
My best friend made a decision to improve herself, to make herself happy. That decision cost her life. That's not drama, that's fact. It took me a minute to realize that but now I get it. She left a terrible relationship and her decision to not give in to intimidation and fear was the best choice she made. So on this third anniversary, I'll definitely cry a little but I think these tears are out of gratitude more than sadness.
I'm grateful I had as much time as I did. I'm grateful I got to know a unique person who will never exist again. I'm sad there will be no more "times" but I'm good on the times we had. I'm grateful that I chose to be present with her when she was finally able to be present with herself. I'm so glad we reconnected when we did and were able to be adults together.
I will say this: If a person you're fighting with suddenly dies, would you feel bad? Would you feel regret? If the answer is yes; just make up. Death is final, there is no talking after that. The ego trip isn't worth it. I'm not saying take people's shit for the sake of being nice, I'm saying don't hold onto anger. Cut the drama and let that person go. Concentrate on the people who DO treat you well and you'll be better for it. Time is too finite! Enjoy every single moment; you might die for it, so it better be worth it.
This weekend I'll pour all the drinks for the homie!
Stay classy B!
The universe can't keep us apart. Love you b!
xoSquared