of the Apocalypse...I said this the night of the election. I told people at work, "Oh, you know, fine, just living at the brink of the Apocalypse" when they asked me how I was doing.

I tend to be extra but I did really feel this. I felt like it was going to be the end of something. The end of the glass ceiling or the end of America. America ended before dawn on Wednesday morning.

I've trained myself to expect anything from anyone. I tend to get shocked but not surprised. I think anyone is capable of anything when the circumstances align. So as time has gone on, I've reconciled a lot of my feelings and I'm shocked but not surprised at how all of this has turned out.

As a woman of color, I've always been aware of being "other". It's something I've known since a child. This country has always had a problem with racism; it's ingrained in the history. You can deny it and say we don't but you don't have an economy built on the backs of slaves for centuries and think there are no ramifications from it. America has a race problem. Factual. I've also believed the patriarchy of this country has never been comfortable with women and their abilities to exist. But I was shocked (not surprised) to see how much America hates women. A politician of 30 years; a woman who has held office, has experience with foreign policy; went up against a racist, sexist, misogynistic reality star with multiple bankruptcies, cases of fraud and sexual assault pending. The reality star wins. Good job America.

I never felt so marginalized in my life. The country at large hates me. And if they don't hate me, they just don't care about me...as a human being.

As the numbers have been crunched and the demographics broken down, I still can't wrap my head around how many WOMEN voted for this man. A man who told you he can have any women he wants, and when he does want them he just grabs them by their genitals, moves on them like bitches. If you're not pretty enough to be a three hole wonder to him,or voice your opinion, or call him out on his bs -- you are a dog, a pig, a loser, ugly, or on your period...this is your President saying this to you. You voted for this guy? How?

I don't know what's going to happen now. I can't tell you that I'm going to fight the good fight; go out and get my life and be a shining light. I can't say it now because I don't know what that looks like. On Wednesday, all I could think about was how my body was no longer going to be my own. How can I get my life if I can't choose what happens to me? If I'm raped, if my pregnancy is high risk, if my life is in danger, if I make a mistake and am not ready for a child....for any of the listed reasons or any other ones; I should be able to choose what happens to me. My reproductive rights should be my own and no one, let alone an old white man, should tell me what I should be ALLOWED to do with my body.

I've heard everything: "Revolution!", 'Revolt!" "This too shall pass" "Give him a chance" "Maybe it won't be so bad" "He won't be able to get anything done" "Maybe someone will kill him". Nothing really brings me solace or courage. Not yet. All I know is, I have to be extra vigilant. I have to REALLY understand my surroundings and those around me because I now know that some of the people who voted for him are in my midst. They may never have the nuts to say it, but they did.

So I'm going to tell you Squares, this is the end of the America you knew. Get involved if you want to, if you need to. Be active in your struggle for equality. Be active in the face of adversity;