I Excel in Ex-ness

"I'm a really great ex-girlfriend.  I leave you alone forever." -FD

I was talking to my girlfriends recently about an ex that still contacts me years after our relationship has ended.  You might say, well it's a Happy Birthday or a Merry Christmas, isn't that ok?  Sure, that's fine and cordial but calls at 2:45am and "wyd" texts are not. 

Let's be real, you know what I'm talking about:  that ex that just won't go away.  The one who likes your posts and DMs you, that one.  Now of course you could say, just block and delete him from everything.  You could do that and that's healthy but also you can be petty and continue to let this person be a spectator as you live your  very best life as you move forward.  I know, I know;  petty, but to each their own.  

You can't sit with me or mine....

You can't sit with me or mine....

The relationship is over, the shared space you occupied no longer exists.  Why would you want to peer through the window of a home you are no longer welcome to?  It's only going to upset you to see what is going on inside.  Even if you are happy that your ex is unhappy with the one after you, you are expending too much energy in what's going on in someone else's yard and not tending to your own situation. 

So I am a great Ex. I disappear from the planet for this person.  We are no longer connected and we don't need to "check in" with each other.   We are not together, so none of your problems are my problems anymore.  Happy Birthday? Nah, I'm good.  I don't need your well wishes; they neither add nor take away from my day. Does that sound bitter?  To some it may, but for me personally, those special days are only special because the person is special to me.  If they no longer have the title, what am I celebrating?  Your birthday will be just as happy without that text from me, as mine will be with your absence.  Being friends with an ex is not mandatory; even if it ended well! 

If you guys decided to mutually consciously uncouple and have nothing binding you (kids, house, etc) then it is very feasible to never speak to this person again. Well, what if you have mutual friends?  Do you drop them too?  You don't have to, you can just make yourself scarce at events your ex will be at if it's still awkward. If it's not, then have an adult conversation with the pleasantries you would extend to anyone else at the party and keep it moving. It's called Adulthood. 

As an adult you could probably separate romantic feelings from platonic feelings and carry on a friendship but for those of you who can't, I want you to know that I get you and I understand.  Some ties are best left cut.  Use that energy to cultivate new friendships and relationships.  An Ex is an Ex for a reason.  Let it rock. 


Are any of you friends with an ex?